Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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