You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
