So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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