I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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