we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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