In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
