At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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