my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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