The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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