I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize