im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
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Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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