This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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