just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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