The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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