Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
