life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize