just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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