just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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