guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
