i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize