im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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