I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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