I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
