# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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