also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
