Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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