I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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