new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
