I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
