Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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