If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
