I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
