I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
