So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
