Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize