so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
