I hope mine doesn't look like that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
