Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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