he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
