This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
