Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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