He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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