She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
