i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
