i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So apparently I’m into choking now
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