32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
