once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
