he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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