Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
