oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
