By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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