It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
