Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What a dumb baby whore.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
