your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Found the puke drawer
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Randomize
