It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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