It's Friday. Sex?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
