my vag is so smooth its legendary
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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