I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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