last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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