Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
