as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
