Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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