only if we run a train.
done.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
